Monday, December 21, 2009

Child Support/Custody Hearing Today!

Sorry everyone! I know it's been a while since my last post.  Today was my custody and child support hearing and it turned out Anthony ended up bringing an attorney with him. I think it's funny how he's telling the judge him and his wife are living in poverty and that he can't afford to pay child support but somehow he found the money to hire an attorney. I just don't get it. But anyway, court was adjourned and we have to be back on Jan 4th but the judge suggested that we try working on an agreement so we don't have to come back. He's refusing the take a drug which makes me suspect even more that he's doing drugs and selling them too. I wish I had solid evidence.....I swear when I make it and have the money for it I'm going to hire a private investigator to find evidence for me. I know he's selling drugs again, our mutual friends have confirmed it but without proof it would stand up in court. I would never get our friends involved....it wouldn't be fair and I honestly don't think they'd want to get involved anyway. If I was them I wouldn't.

Anyway, on a positive note the judge dismissed his request for claiming bella on his taxes. He said that the law states the person who the child resides with most of the time gets to claim the child so I'm happy about that. I still am going to pursue the legal custody thing because regardless of his promises in court I am 99.99% sure that his actions afterwards won't match his words. They never do and never will. He's going to tell the judge obviously what he wants to hear. I just hope the judge reads right through him.

I am not happy about going to court again in January but am still going to keep my faith that it will work out in my favor regardless because the judge will read right through Anthony and know that  he's a liar and resentful man.  I want him to be a part of her life and have always wanted that but he's never been consistent with his visitation before....what's changed now?  His daughter is six and she has no desire to have a relationship with her father which breaks my heart but it's his own fault. He should of been there from the begining and he had no reason not to be. We lived so close to each other, he always had the ability to be there for her but he made the choice on his own not to be there. So it's his fault his daughter doesnt want anything to do with him.

I hope we can settle this out of court. If he agrees to giving me legal custody of our daughter then I will work with him on the child support but $100/week isn't going to cut it for me. If he doesn't meet me half way then we'll have no choice but to take it back to court.

It's really sad that single moms have to go through all this. Luckily in most cases the court rules in our favor. I know that there are good fathers out there who do right and take care of their children. I even know a few myself. I just wish there was more of these types of fathers out there then dead beat ones.

I will keep everyone posted on the status of my case! Please feel free to commenet or give any advice.

Happy holidays!

Jess

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My daughter's Santa Letter

Good morning everyone!

I decided to blog today about my daughter's santa letter this year. A week ago I was helping my daughter write her second Santa letter because she claims she forgot to ask for a very important thing (lol) and she said to me, "Mommy, if you believe in Santa why don't you write him a letter and ask for help in finding an investor for your series?" Not wanting to ruin it for her the way my dad did when I was her age, I've vowed to believe in Santa so she could too and savour every moment of it. After all kids are only kids once right?  I've been working so hard on finding an investor, perfecting my business plan and networking as much as possible. In the process, I've met wonderful people and made great contacts and feel in my heart I'm too close to my dream of bringing this reality series to television that there is no way I could give up now. Right?

Anyway, so I said to Bella, "You know what sweetheart? You are so right?" "I do need to write Santa a letter." So I wrote a simple request to the North Pole that if there were any miracles left for the year that all I asked for was to find an investor for my series. I let Bella stamp it and we mailed it out the same day. That same afternoon my mom told me how one of the things Bella put in her first Santa letter was not only a good boyfriend for mommy (lol--she's so sweet isn't she?) but an investor for mommy's show. The only thing she asked for herself was a Dog and a laptop computer (A REAL ONE!!!!-Geez kids these days are so advanced!!! lol) Anyway, it warmed my heart to know that my beautiful little girl believes in my reality series as much as I do.

She's my biggest motivation for everything I do and it makes me so proud that she's thinking of others before herself. Being a young mom, I know I still have a lot to learn when it comes to parenting but just knowing that my sweet little girl is growing up to be a loving, kind, giving and sweet little girl makes me so proud to be who I am and motivates me even more to keep pursuing my dream of bringing this reality series to life and finishing my first novel.

I believe in miracles and she does too. Like someone told me recently..."It only takes one special person to turn things around for me." I know that special person is out there somewhere and somehow the universe will bring us together. Hopefully by Christmas!!!!!

Happy holidays everyone!

Jessica

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Going to Court again for Modification of support! Ahhhh!!!!

So I got a letter yesterday for a court hearing my daughter's father requested. Last month he requested a hearing for modification of child support due to his twins being born and him getting less income. The request also stated he wanted visitation one weekend day. He never showed up to court and the judge dismissed the case. Now here we are six weeks later and he requests yet another hearing after the one he didn't show up not only requesting that the child support be modified, but that I reimburse him for $250 of medical bills, he requesting our daughter's social security number, overnight visitation and the ability to claim her on his taxes. Is he out of his mind!!!! He already has twins he can claim on his taxes and now he wants to take mine and leave me with nothing!!!! I hope to god that the judge sees right through him and dismisses it.

Here is someone who left me when I was pregnant when I refused to have an abortion, hide out in his native country of Costa Rica, not returning until two weeks before Isabella was born. In the past six years, he has only seen our daughter a few times each year, most which have been either me calling him or a family member of his calling for visitation. I know he is doing all this for the wrong reasons, he is so desperate to lower the child support that he'd do anything. Even not act in the best interest of our daughter. I am unemployed right now and am so blessed that my mother can help me with paying for a lawyer. I don't know what I would do without her. Honestly, yesterday afternoon I thought I was going to loose my mind!!!

But after a while I said to myelf I needed to calm down because losing myself won't help my situation. I have to believe with all my heart that the judge will see right through him like I do and know that he's doing it all for the wrong reasons. I am willing to work with him on visitation but wont' agree to overnights because I know Isabella won't want that. And besides he has no room in his house....his twins sleep in the same room as them! He parent's live there and are in the second bedroom! I feel that the judge will dismiss most of his requests. I want more then anything for our daughter to have a good relationship with her father but I've tried working out a visitation schedule with him and he never stuck to it.

My thing is, and I am sure most single mothers out there would agree. That if a father can't stick to a visitation schedule on a consistent basis, then don't bother being there at all! I don't want my daughter growing up and wondeing why her dad never showed up. It's not fair to her and to me cause then I'm stuck having to explain it to her. All this happened when she was a lot younger so I didn't have to explain much, she just didn't seem to notice. My family and I surround her with so much attention and love that his lack of presense never seemed to matter. It didn't help him that he never called or look for her. sometimes months would go by and he's never call.

And now all of a sudden, he has twins with his wife now and doens't want to pay as much child support and will lie and cheat to do it. He is a very bitter and resentful man with a lot of emotional problems and I hope that Karma comes back to bite him twice as hard at that hearing. I'm going to request sole primary legal and residential custody of our daughter with him having just visitation. Leaving the child support modification up to the court as they seem fit because I don't care much about his money. Its' not like I get it anyway. He hasn't paid in over 8 months! He owes so much in arrears!

The court hearing is in two weeks and this is not how I visiioned spending my holidays...worrying about all this. But I am a big believer in faith and that everything happens for a reason. This will be something I can grow and learn from as I plan on walking out of that court room with my head held high because I got what I wanted and the court saw right through him.

I do hope that this is the end of this battle for him and I. I want to move on with my life and put him behind me or us should I say. I feel so many good things are waiting for me and will become my reality soon and I don't want him to be any part of it. I know I am not alone...there are so many single mothers out there who are going through the same thing.

When my reality series takes off I plan on starting a support group for single mothers and a foundation that helps single mothers who are struggling.

Hopefully my next post regarding this hearing will be a good one...documenting my success and big win!!! :)
Wish me luck everyone!

~Jessica~

Launch of New Website!

Hi everyone! In an effort to spread the word out to the public about my new reality series idea. I launched a new website introducing the television series and will use this site to keep everyone updated on where I am with this reality series. The website is: http://www.worldofsingleparenthood.com/ .

Remember we are still in need of financial backing. If you are interested in possibly investing or know of someone who is, please forward this website to them. You can contact me for any questions you may have. Thanks everyone!

JF