Anyway, I'm sure some of you are wondering what I've been up to lately, and what's been going on with the show launch. We filmed the pilot this past summer (will be posting pics soon), and had a blast getting to know all the cast members, and Lisa (Executive Producer). Since I was unexpectedly laid off back in October 2009, I was able to dedicate all my time to developing the concept, writing my book, and just being a mom. I've been working non-stop since I was 14 years old, and never could imagine being without a job. When my friends would get laid off or fired most of them would glow with excitement of being able to "Chill Out" for a few months, and relax while collecting unemployment. I just couldn't bare the thought of it especially in this tough economy where it seems nearly impossible to find a job because of all those who are desperately looking.
When I began taking the steps to develop the reality show concept, and started really writing my first novel, I was in the last semester of school finishing up the last of my credits to obtain my degree. It was a very stressful, overwhelming time let me tell you. Working M-F from 8a.m-4p.m. and than my afternoons were consumed with schoolwork, house chores, Bella's after school activities, and making sure I spend enough quality time with her was really tough on me both physically and emotionally.
My parents helped out a lot thankfully, but being an involved parent is really important to me. So no matter how busy I was during the week, I always made it a point to take Isabella to every ballet class, Cheerleading practice, gymnastics class, or school event. I didn't want to miss out on anything, because kids grow so fast, and I didn't want to regret missing an important moment of her life. So I'd spend most nights in bed working on my novel manuscript after she went to bed. Most nights staying up as late as 3a.m, and having to start my day with only 3 to 4 hours of sleep. So yea, I definitely had a lot on my shoulders, but by my own choice of course. lol
So imagine how much crazier things got when I started working on developing my show concept, and find time to work on my novel. There were so many times I felt like at any given moment I'd lose my mind. But I kept fighting the urge to give-up. All my life I had believed that my dreams just weren't meant to be, and that I needed to find a way to accept that and move on. After years of trying to find my way in life as a single mom, trying one business venture after another with no success. I finally was given hope that maybe my dreams were meant to be a big part of my real life. I had always been very grateful for all the great jobs I've had, but always felt like something was missing. But this past year, despite all the challenges I was forced to face never once did I feel like I was on the wrong path. In fact, it felt like I was right were I was supposed to be. So I kept my strong faith that somehow God and the Universe would help me find a way to juggle it all.
So when an announcement was made in my office that my whole department was getting laid off due to cut-backs, I surprisingly didn't freak out or fall into a deep depression of feeling sorry for myself. After all I've never been laid off, fired or unemployed before. I remember feeling a bit of fear because the only way I'd leave my job is if my show took off successfully. But a bigger part of me felt a sense of relief to be honest, and that maybe this was the answer to all my prayers in the past few months.
Instead of letting my lay off bring me down, I was determined to make the best of it, and see it as a blessing in disguise. I'll now be able to focus on both my show launch and writing career full time, and spend much needed quality time with my daughter. That maybe this was the beginning of the transition that would lead into my new life, where I'd be living out my life purpose. Here I was worried that I'll hit the age of 35 years old, and still be wondering what the hell I'm supposed to be doing with my life. Living check-to-check, and not being happy with myself at all. Just praying and hoping for some sort of miracle to come into my life. Well, I think in 2009, the beginning of my miracles began to manifest.
I've come a long way since than, and am very grateful for all the things I have experienced in the past year especially, the good and bad. Because not only do I now have a great story to tell to those who would listen, I can now enjoy the fruits of my labor knowing that I deserve every single inch of success that comes my way without any guilt. Why? Because my success wasn't handed to me on a silver platter like some people out there may think, nor was it pure luck either. I created my new life, and I created the success that came with it. It was all the outcome from inspired action. I just continued having faith in myself, learned to listen to my intuition & getting in touch with my higher self, and having faith that somehow God will help me find a way.
So thank you to all those who believed in me and the show concept from the very beginning, and never once doubting my ability to make it happen. Your support really helped me get through the rough times. One of the things I've learned this year is that, theres a lot of truth in the saying, "Everything happens for a reason, and when the time is right you'll see and understand why." It led me to believe that there was a big reason why after all these years, I still had a passion for writing, music, creating, business, and having enough power to change the world. It was always a part of who I was meant to be in this lifetime. I just needed to reach a certain point in growth in order to make that discovery, and appreciate the value of the success that came with it.
Please continue to come back to my blog, as I plan on posting more often now that I'm almost done with my first novel. Stay tuned for the premiere of the Sizzle reel in the next week or so, and to learn more about the current status of "Single Parenthood: NJ" visit: http://www.worldofsingleparenthood.com/ or join us on facebook at "Single Parenthood: NJ".
Thanks again everyone & God Bless!
Jessica F.
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